Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
