Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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