im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
