The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
