Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
