Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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