Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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