new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
