I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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