remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
