So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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