how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
