So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
