you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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