You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
