Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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