I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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