I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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