You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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