I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
