I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
