I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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