Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
