Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I need to stop coming to work sober
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
