Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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