You made me cry and you don't even care
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
