The maid of honor just puked.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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