Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
