the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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