she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
