I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
