Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize