Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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