I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
