I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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