Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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