So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
