Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
