Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
