I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
