Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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