Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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