yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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