let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
How's work?
Spinning.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
