you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
