Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
