I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
