I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
