The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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