I don't remember. Are we still dating?
birth control should be required to get into college
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
