So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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