after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
