Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
