Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
