Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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