Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
