i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
