We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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