If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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