So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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