Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
